Eleutheromania
by makeitraynehard
Summary: Slow-burn Joniss. Katniss and Peeta are preparing for their second time around in the arena. Trying her best to make allies while also making sense of the reason for allies, she discovers that there may be a few potentially interesting candidates. Or just one really interesting candidate. The story of the true star crossed lovers, and how they come to be.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first time writing a Joniss fic. I absolutely adore the ship and can't get enough, no seriously, there aren't enough….So I decided to write one myself. This will be the slowest slow burning molasses burn I could think of. Takes place around the time Katniss and Peeta start to prepare for their second games.

Anyways

Disclaimer: You know, I don't own the sexy…luscious….beautiful and intimidating characters from Hunger Games Trilogy.

* * *

><p>Chapter One: Eleutheromania: the intense and irresistible desire for freedom.<p>

Of course I would have to participate in the hunger games again, of course. That's how my world works right? Tragedy, bad luck, risk, disaster. All recurring themes of my life it would seem. I can honestly say I'm not surprised. Snow has had it out for me since day one.

The day I volunteered for my sister for the reaping I would almost call the first day of my life. Every day before then was merely monotonic repetitive survival. Of course afterwards was all about survival too, but it's different. I've met so many people and had so many new experiences that I wouldn't have encountered were it not for the games. Which sounds so twisted in a way, but really, my life was just so fucking…_boring_…before.

Sneak off to hunt with Gale, hopefully find something, go home, ignore my unresponsive mother, try to keep Prim smiling, and sleep. Those were the basic activities of my daily life.

But after becoming a part of the Capitols fucked up world, my life turned quite interesting. At least I can say that there has rarely been a dull moment.

Currently I am in my room waiting to go to the training center with Peeta, mulling over all these thoughts. I wonder what could possibly be in store for me this time around.

I hear a knock on my door and I immediately answer, "Come in".

It's Peeta of course. Looking at him now gives me a slight feeling of unease; I would maybe even associate it with nausea. In the past, before we had to create this façade of being "the star-crossed lovers from district 12", when I looked at him I would feel a slight bit of admiration mixed with…well…jealousy. Peeta had it much better than I did in District 12. He never had to worry about starving, but he didn't have it easy by any means I know. In the preparations for the first games he sucked it up and went into action. Formulating plans and acting accordingly to survive. Though for him it wasn't acting. It still isn't.

For me this is all some twisted play where I act along with a memorized script trying to make it as believable as possible, but I'm not a very good actress, I know.

"Ready to go?" he always has this look in his eyes when he looks at me. Like he's always hoping I'll come running into his arms and kiss him, telling him how I could never live without him. Gross.

"Yeah, let's go." I'm already dressed and ready, I have been for a while now.

We walk in relative silence with him stealing small glances at me to his side. I can see it in my peripheral but I just ignore it.

Haymitch and Effie are waiting for us when we approach. Effie is not like she was in our first games. I think she has grown to like us, hell, we've all grown to like each other almost as another family.

"Peeta! Dashing as always, careful not to let that handsome smile of yours make all the other tributes swoon! Though maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing, no?" She then looks to me and gives me a once over. "And Katniss…I see some things never change, maybe if _you_ smiled every once in a while then you both could gain some allies for this time around."

"I don't really see the point in gaining allies. One of us willing end up killing the other anyways, right?" I hide my disdain for what I know Haymitch is going to say in reply.

"Well Katniss even if you did smile, what would come out of your mouth would scare anyone who tried away anyway." He says with his signature grin. I can tell he thinks he's hot shit. "But even with that I also think you need to make allies this time around sweetheart. It shouldn't be hard for Peeta, but we all know you. Just…try to suppress some of that amazing charm of yours and be at least slightly courteous and outgoing to the others. You never know who you could find wanting to be by your side." He says this with a serious tone and look in his eyes. I have to suppress mine from rolling.

"Sure. I'll try my best." My eyes fall to the floor because I know that my best isn't very much, and I think they all know it too. Why do we even need allies? I still don't really get it. I thought the games were every man for themselves…well…obviously except for our first games. I doubt there will even be anyone who's going to make me want to be their "ally".

We finally make it to the training room and I immediately spot the weaponry area. There's a bow and I itch to go to it, but I know I need to scope the area first before making a showcase of my abilities. I see in my peripheral that everyone has paused what they were doing for a moment when we walked in. People are scattered at every post just about, working on one thing or another. I see a section with a bunch of ropes and strings, some tied into neat knots and others lay in bundles. There are some hooks and other jigs and things I would assume to be fishing bait. There's an elderly woman working at that table alone(Mags, I think her name is?).

'Well I guess I'll start with the least lethal looking one'. I make my way over to the table.

When I reach the table I pick up one of the ropes and glance sideways to the woman. She is making a fishing hook with a pretty good looking bait attached. It's actually quite amazing for someone as old and frail as she appears to be.

"That's really good. You think maybe you could teach me?" Well that's the best I've got. A compliment and an inquiry for non-hostile association.

She looks up at me and smiles, handing me some string with a hook and a jig. I smile back at her and start following her lead as she picks up new pieces and gets to work. I'm doing a pretty good job at mimicking her actions and my fishing line is coming out well, when I chance a glance up at the other victors. Peeta has gone to the art station and is painting some small designs. There are two people at the fire starting station that looks like a small portion of a forest. Most people are practicing with weapons.

One in particular catches my eye. It's a well-built female with dark brown hair and I can see that she has a few red streaks in it. She's swinging an axe around with well-practiced ease. The way she moves is actually quite beautiful(if you could call such a violent exercise beautiful). I find myself unable to stop looking, and my hands fall prey to my mind as they cease movement on the fishing line.

Then she makes a series of twists and turns with the axe in a formation that my brain can only comprehend as art. She spins around with a final strike down, the axe slamming into the ground. Then her head snaps up and she's looking right into my eyes. I'm frozen for a moment, as if I were caught in the act of something naughty. Which to be honest I've been staring at her for an unknown but probably lengthy amount of time. Her eyes are boring into mine and it feels like I've been set aflame.

Then she smirks at me. _Smirks._ As if she knew I were watching her the whole time and is trying to say '_Like what you see_?'.

I'm the first to break eye contact and turn back to look at Mags.

She's looking at me with a knowing grin and some unidentifiable light in her eyes. I can't help but blush and give a little cough into my hand.

"Sorry I got distracted…where were we?" I pick up the line I was working on and start fiddling with it. She shows me mercy and spares me any further embarrassment by picking up her line and starts working on it again.

As my hands diligently weave the line and bait around I can't help but think '_Maybe there _are_ a few people I'd like to have as allies…maybe_.'

* * *

><p>Yayy! First chapter done. Let me know whatcha think. Next chapter will be actual interactions with our Joniss lovely's.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed my first chapter. I do appreciate constructive criticism as I really am new at writing any piece of fiction such as this. I would love for people to review the chapters when I put them up, and if there's anything you think I could work on or do better, let me know, and I'll most likely try my best to heed your words.(Unless it's essential to my plot line in which case you'll just have to wait to see how things turn out) And of course review if you have nothing negative to say and just want to show some love :D

By the way, Eleutheromania is the intense and irresistible desire for freedom.

Ah! Also to finnicko-loves-anniec, thank you so much for your review! You pointed out a couple of things that I was insecure about and will be sure not to repeat. I'll keep it down on the ellipses ;) and as for the elevator scene, I'm moving the time-line of things around a bit so things won't always be in the order of the books, but the order of my mind. Trust me though; I would never leave something as monumental as the elevator scene out, in fact, you might see it sooner than later.

Now! On with the Joniss!

* * *

><p>Chapter Two: Vorfreude: the joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.<p>

I've been lying in bed for about four hours now. Sleep has eluded me and in its place is my racing mind. I've tried to think about home, Prim, my mother, and even Buttercup, to no avail. I've even tried to make up fictional scenarios in my head such has having super powers, or living in a different kind of world. Which is something I sometimes do to help the sleep overtake my mind, but it has proven fruitless.

Those eyes.

That's all I can think about. The fluid, perfect motions of her body and weapon as extension. Her movements flawless and the ripple of her muscles truly something to be admired. It's the last thing though. At that last moment when all her movements and actions with the weapon I can tell she feels is a part of herself, ceased. Her eyes, burning into mine with the intensity of a white hot flame. The feeling I got in my gut in that moment was something new to me. Foreign.

So new and foreign in fact that I refuse to think about it anymore. My brain will explode if I give those dark and intense eyes one more minute of thought.

So I roll over and pray for sleep to take me. I clear my mind and let my body relax itself. This does the trick as I can finally feel the edges of darkness creeping up on me, threatening to swallow me up. Which is exactly what I want it to do.

Right before the last vestiges of consciousness leave me, I allow those hard, captivating eyes to pierce my soul once more.

_When my eyes open I'm in the training center again. This time I'm alone; free to do whatever I please, so I do. I walk over to the bow that I disregarded earlier in the day. I pick it up and run my fingers up and down the length of it. It's smooth and its weight feels perfect in my hands._

_Instead of going to the simulator like I normally would, I turn and there are a series of stationary targets ahead of me, the room now void of everything but them. I pull an arrow from the quiver on my back, knowing it wasn't there earlier, but also knowing it would be there when I reached for it. I pull the string of my bow back, just against my lips. My form has no errors and I can feel that my shot will be perfection. _

_I release the arrow and just as I knew it would, it hit the target dead center. I let a smug smile tug at my lips, which quickly disappeared when I felt a presence coming up behind me. It didn't feel hostile or malicious, and something told me to stay still instead of turning around. They gradually got closer and closer and the twisting in my gut from anticipation grew stronger. Then they were right against my back, perfectly sculpted arms sliding around my waist as I felt cool silky lips against my ear. The shudder that ran through me wasn't unpleasant._

"_You're a pretty good shot, 12. I'd love to see what else this body of yours can do." The voice was very much feminine but low and husky. Breath so hot and sensual against my ear I almost swooned. I put my hands over hers and leaned back into her body. I turned my head to see who this mystery woman was that had my stomach wound into such a tight coil. _

_Those eyes. Piercing my soul and begging me to dive deeper, and deeper I wanted to go. Just as I clawed my way out of their spell and dared to drop my gaze she was gone, leaving me suddenly cold and alone._

When I opened my eyes it was slowly. Trying to mull over the dream in my head before it was lost to the burning of daylight.

Why is this girl plaguing me so? I try to recall her name from watching the games of the past, but I keep coming up blank. I hardly remember many of the games because I was too busy trying to make sure that Prim wasn't reaped and my family was taken care of. The only thing I do remember about the games is that they were just a big bloody massacre of children and teenagers.

I decide to ask Haymitch about it later and try to push it to the back of my mind. There are more important things to be thinking about I know. What with my imminent death approaching I should probably have my mind elsewhere. Like how to save Peeta.

I've already told Haymitch that he's the one that has to survive, no matter what. Peeta's a good guy. He's kind, caring, and brave. Any woman would be stupid not to want him. I guess that makes me a complete moron.

I'm up and ready by the time they come to retrieve me. Today is the day for interviews with Caesar. I'm sure Cinna has prepared a remarkable dress for me to wear. Though I know I would love anything he makes just because it's him.

When I reach the group they're all talking animatedly at the breakfast table, only to fall into complete silence when I arrive. I'd bet Buttercup that they were talking about me.

"Good morning sweetheart. Ready to say 'I do'?" Haymitch is grinning from ear to ear with a cup in his hand. Full of what I'm sure is the day's liquor.

I know that mine and Peeta's charade of engagement has to stick, but surely he couldn't mean we were going to perform a wedding today? On screen no less. Please let it be that he's being sarcastic as usual.

"What do you mean?" I say this with a slight nervous edge to my voice that I'm hoping they all catch on to.

"Snow wants it to be as convincing as possible right? He's asked you to wear what 'would be' your wedding gown for the interview today." The sigh of relief I let escape doesn't go unnoticed by Haymitch as he grins into his cup. Peeta doesn't miss it either though.

"Don't worry Katniss, we won't have to do the real thing and seal it with a kiss." He tries to sound amusing but I can tell there's a little sorrow in his downcast eyes.

"Well I think it would be a lovely affair, even if it were a façade." Effie says with the same air of delight she always tries to carry. I can't help but give her a small smile that she gladly returns.

"Don't you worry your braided little head, sweetheart, Peeta told us all about the googly eyes you were making at a certain female victor. I guess now I see why none of your male suitors ever caught your attention." It seems Haymitch is in a very good mood today, while mine is slowly turning sour.

The blush that comes to my cheeks is unbidden and too powerful to stop. I look at Peeta with an accusatory glare and he returns it with a look of sheepish guilt mixed with what I've learned to be jealousy.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I try my best to play it off and hope for the best. But good things don't happen to me like that.

"Her name is Johanna Mason. She's the victor of the 71st Games, from District 7. She pretended to be weak and helpless until the very end, where she massacred the remaining tributes. She's a force to be reckoned with but if she takes a liking to you she might just be a force we can work with." I soaked up every bit of this information with gusto, trying not to make it obvious how much I've been fiending for the intel. Haymitch tips his cup in my direction with a wink and a grin.

"Won't getting close to her only make her a force that's harder to take down in the end? I still don't get this allies thing. All but one of us has to die anyway." I'm almost pleading with my eyes because I just _know _that he knows something I don't, and I want in on it.

"More than one of you survived the last games, so don't count yourself out so quick Katniss. You never know what could happen in that arena. Tomorrow is another day of training, and another chance for you to get to know some of the victors. The day before the games I want you both to come to me with who you've chosen to be your allies." Great. Cryptic as always lately.

"There are a few harmless looking victors. I know of at least two that wouldn't be hard to come by for an ally." Peeta is talking between bites of his food when I realized I haven't even eaten yet. I sit down and start topping my plate. "Like who?"

"Well, there's this couple, at least I'm just kinda assuming they're a couple, which were at the fire starting station yesterday. They couldn't get it going but were muttering things to each other and glancing at the observers above. They seem to mostly be brains and no brawn, and I figured that was something we could use more of." He's already finished with his food by the time I've taken a few bites.

"Oh we could definitely use some more brain working with you two." He's snickering now and I can tell his morning cup of booze is kicking in.

"Well just be your normal outgoing self, Peeta, and it shouldn't be hard to convince them that it would be a win-win for everyone. And Katniss…well I think you should just follow Peeta's lead." Effie says this with a smile but it feels like she thinks she's talking to a child.

"Why does everyone think I'm so incapable of getting along with people!? I already made one ally-type friend-ish person yesterday. Her name is Mags and she taught me how to make a fishing line." I make an indignant noise as I dig into my food with a renewed ferver.

"Katniss I'm not so sure she would be extremely helpful to us. Yes she's nice and can make knots and fishing lines but will she slow us down? We have to think of these things. However I do know that Finnick is very protective of her, so if you're in with Mags, then we might have Finnick as an ally too." By this point Peeta is glancing between me and Haymitch, almost as if he's looking for praise with this statement. He's not disappointed.

"That's right Peeta, good observational skills. Finnick's not the type to abandon Mags, so Katniss making good with her yesterday was a great thing. Finnick is strong, smart, and loyal, but he's also conniving. He'd be a great ally to have." Haymitch gives Peeta a nod of his head before turning back to his cup and getting serious again.

"We can worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Right now we need to get together what you two are going to say for your interview".

.

Prep time before going on camera with Caesar is always hectic. People running around every which way, attacking my face with all kinds of makeup, and jerking my body to and fro with whatever outfit I'm to wear. This time it's the 'wedding gown'. It's really quite beautiful and amazing. It's big, really big, and white with all kinds of intricate designs sewn in.

I'm rehearsing what I'm going to say in my head, wondering what exactly Caesar will ask me, with Effie moving around adjusting my dress here and there and trying to give me advice.

I hear someone walking up to my right, and there she is. Johanna. The girl that's been plaguing my thoughts for a little over 24 hours now.

"Really? A wedding dress?" She says it with disdain but the look in her eyes when she gives me a once-over has something else in it. Something I can't place but when I finally realize I'm drowning in the depth of those eyes again I shake my head a little and form a coherent reply.

"Snow's making me wear it." I think I did good. Straight face, calm demeanor, and definitely not showing signs of thinking about the dream I had last night.

She takes a couple of step forward…no, I wouldn't call them steps. She _sauntered_ towards me with that familiar smirk on her face.

"Make him pay for it."

Oh god the fire in her eyes has my whole body burning and I think I'm about to start sweating. What is wrong with me? Why am I reacting this way over a complete (and dangerous) stranger? Someone who I will eventually have to kill or watch die? I'm smiling back none the less as Caesar announces my name and I step out on stage.

.

The interviews went as well as they _could_ go I guess. I'm apparently a pregnant mockingjay now and everybody held hands like we were going to play red rover with the crowd.

Peeta, Haymitch, and I are making our way to the elevator to go back to our floor. I'm suddenly exhausted from all the emotions of the day, and I'm uncomfortable in this dress. All I want is to go back to my room and collapse in my bed.

Just as the doors to the elevator are about to close, a hand appears to make them reopen, and in steps the cause of most of my inner turmoil as of late.

"You guys look amazing." Well now i'm wired wide awake. She's looking right at me as she says it. From head to toe and it feels like it lasts an eternity. Then she glances at Peeta and Haymitch and starts to turn around right as I have the good enough sense of mind to mumble a "Thank you".

"My stylist is such an idiot. District 7, lumber, _trees_. Ugh, I'd love to put my axe in her face." She's…undressing. She's slowly peeling off her layers and I'm completely dumbstruck, left without coherent thought or words.

"So what do you think, now that the whole world wants to sleep with you?" She's still turned around but I'm assuming she's referring to me. Since when did the whole world want to sleep with me?

"I don't think that th-" I'm cut off by her turning around sharply and piercing me yet again with those eyes.  
>"I wasn't talking to you." She stares me down for an agonizingly long time.<p>

She doesn't break eye contact when she turns slightly with her back to Peeta and says "Unzip?"

Peeta stutters out a "S-sure" and starts to pull down the zipper on the back of her dress. I'm so incredibly jealous right now for reasons that I don't want to analyze. She's still staring at me and I want so badly to let my eyes roam over the skin of her newly exposed body as she starts peeling the dress off, but I can't break the gaze. If my eyes waver I'll feel like I have lost, and for some reason she makes me feel like I want to win, at everything. She makes the headstrong qualities in me come out and never want to back down. She makes me feel challenged.

She's finally completely naked, and it is literally taking all of my will power not to glance down, just once. I can tell in my peripheral vision that she is flawless, that her skin is creamy and smooth, her breasts ample and perky, and…okay I have to stop.

My heart is beating so fast and hard and I just know that color is forming on my damned cheeks_. 'Curse my inability to control where my blood goes'. _Speaking of which, I feel a certain thumping between my legs that I've never felt before. I'm not naïve enough to not know what it is, but it takes me by surprise none the less. My jaw is still slack and I'm squeezing my legs together tight to try and relieve some of this sudden pressure.

"Thanks, let's do it again some time." Seriously this eye contact isn't normal right? Does she do this with the other victors? Most likely she's just trying to intimidate me.

And just like that she's gone, but the heat in my lower regions certainly is not.

* * *

><p>Two chapters in one day? Whaaattt? Yes. I was extremely inspired today, but don't expect this swiftness for every update. Sometimes it may take me a week or two to get a chapter up, who knows.<p>

Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this and finding it interesting, to say the least.

I delivered an elevatah scene and the next chapter will skip to the last day of training!

Also tell me what y'all think about switching to Johanna's point of view every once in a while. I'm toying with the idea but i'm just not sure yet. Outside opinions welcome.

-Joniss for life


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for all the followers and reviewers! It's always nice to know that people enjoy your work. I'm going back to school with 15 hours so I won't be as quick to update. Just thought I'd give you all a nice long chapter before that really kicks in :-). Aren't I precious? Okay Commence angsty Joniss.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Duende (n.) the mysterious power of art to deeply move a person.<p>

_It's raining when I open my eyes. I realize I've been sleeping in a tree on a limb, in the middle of a forest. For a moment I think I'm home, out to hunt and caught up in enjoying the solitude that the rarely-traveled forest gives me._

_Then I see the fire in the distance, swallowing the green like a giant tidal wave with its all-consuming might. It's moving…slowly, though. Almost as if it were a video in slow motion. This in itself relieves me. Though the calm in my heart is unusual, I stay seated and enjoy the sight, if only for a moment._

_There's something beautiful about fire. How it dances as if it were excited to be alive and thriving. Trying to share the excitement with other things, but it comes on too strong, destroying everything too weak to keep up. _

_It's not its fault though. It's only searching for something that can withstand its almighty heat, always coming up short in its endeavor. How sad. I know that I am just another thing that would fall beneath its glory so I finally start climbing down from the tree, taking my time. My body feels light and airy, too light to move quickly, though I see no point in doing so. It's strange, being light and not being able to move swiftly. It's that there's no weight behind my step, no leverage or surge of momentum to push me forward. It's like I'm just gliding._

_Which is fine by me._

_I can't seem to recall all of the things that I know normally weigh me down. Why do I usually feel so heavy, a weight on my shoulders that I cannot lift, no matter how strong I become? It doesn't matter now. If I can't remember then it must not be important. _

_I make it to the ground and start walking in the direction that the fire is trying to push me. The leaves beneath my feet make no sound, but I can just barely feel them crumble._

_I keep walking and walking what feels like endlessly. When I reach the top of a hill I see what looks to be elevator doors. They're silver and shiny but covered in vines and thorns that seem to have been growing for countless years. Without giving it much thought I press the only button available, an upwards arrow. _

_The doors open and I step inside. The interior is light blue, with black lining the corners and floor. It's all smooth like marble and cool inside. The elevator ascends what feels like one floor and the doors open again. _

_When I step out it's onto a gravel pathway in the middle of an open field. I can see blurry objects on the ground ahead of me, but I cannot make out what they are, so I start walking once again._

_The first blur I approach becomes clear and I can plainly make out its definitions. It's a blonde girl. Her face seems swollen all over, to the point that her features are indefinable. She's not breathing and I know that the life that once filled her body has left her. I wonder what happened._

_With the next step I take I feel slightly heavier. There's a tingling on my neck and arms. I look at my hands and there are leaves covering them. I touch my neck and I can feel the same leaf. _

_I continue to walk and the next blur starts to clear. It's another person. It's a boy, whom appears to be my age. He has brown hair and is wearing a green jacket. There is a spear in his hands and I look upon his face, only to see the same lifeless expression. _

_The weight is more pronounced now. I suddenly feel a strap around my chest, and when I reach to feel it there is a bow in my hands. The strap on my chest is connected to a quiver of arrows on my back._

_Who are these people? It feels familiar in a nostalgic way, but my brain doesn't grab ahold of the memory. Only letting it pass through swift and too quick to clutch in my hands. _

_I approach the final blur, and as it clears I can see that it is significantly smaller than the rest. It's a young dark skinned girl. She is so petite and her features are lovely. I look to her eyes, this time finding myself hoping for a light, but once again they are dark and lifeless. _

_The weight is now on my shoulders and it's getting heavier by the minute. There are flowers surrounding her body and for just a moment there's a faint pulse of memory, but it leaves just as quick as it came. There's a strike to my heart as I look upon her face one last time, before walking away. _

_She was the final blur along the pathway and after walking for some time, there's another elevator door. This time it's bright red, the kind of red that is brought on by metal sitting in a fire for hours, red hot. _

_I press the button and realize that this time it is a downwards arrow. I wonder where it leads._

_The doors open and steam pours out in waves. Once it's cleared I step in. When the door closes I can feel the oxygen dissipating. It's getting warm, so warm that I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead, and running down my back. It only gets hotter as the elevator feels like it's descending multiple floors._

_Just when I believe that I'll suffocate or pass out, the doors open and fresh air rushes in. I gasp and suck in as much oxygen as my lungs will allow. _

_I step out of the elevator breathing heavy with my hands on my knees, bow still clutched tight in one hand. When I look up, I'm in a town. Everything is black and gray and memories are starting to float through my mind rapidly. My brain grabbing a hold of a few of them, I realize that this is my home._

_My feet feel like lead now as I walk. I pass building after building but there are no people. Finally I make it to a section of the town with a sign that says "Victor's Village". _

_I make my way to one of the houses and step inside the door. It's still so quiet and I can't hear anything but my own feet shuffling the floor. I round the corner and there's a table with another blur atop it. As I get closer I can see a color, the color red. There's red blood splattered all over the floor and walls. The blur clears and it's a young man, covered in the red blood though his body is still black and gray. _

_I know this boy. He's lodged somewhere in a few of the memories I could grab ahold of. The pang in my chest intensifies and it's so painful. It hurts so badly and I can't look anymore, so I turn away. I can make out a sound in the distance, it sounds like a faint whistle. _

_With every step I take it grows louder and louder. I approach another door and when I look down at the knob it's shaking. The high pitched sound is loud but muffled by the door. I know I'm supposed to open it but I'm hesitant. _

_After a moment I grab the handle and push the door open forcefully. The sound I heard was a girl screaming and when I finally see what's in the room it stops. There on the floor are my mother and my little sister Prim. _

_Suddenly the weight has crashed upon me like an anvil and everything is so loud and colorful. All of my memories come rushing back and the pain causes a piercing scream to wrench forth from my throat. _

_They're covered in blood and unmoving. The life has left their eyes, just like Glimmer, Marvel, and Rue. Oh God it hurts so damn badly. Why is this happening?_

_I can hear laughing coming from behind the door that would normally lead to my room. I stand with one last glance at Prim and my mother, before approaching the door._

_I grab the handle and it's so hot it sears my skin but I push on anyway. Inside is not my room but another forest. Peeta is lying on the forest floor, this time very much alive. A woman has him pinned down and an axe raised over her head, poised and ready to strike._

_I raise my bow and draw an arrow from my quiver as quickly as possible pulling back on the drawstring and letting my aim fall upon her head. Right before I decide to let go she turns to look at me, it's Johanna. _

_She smirks and winks at me before speaking, "Did you really think we could all make it out alive, Katniss? This isn't like your games. Only one can survive this time." _

_It's her voice…how can she be saying something so cruel with a voice so enticing? My fingers hesitate on the arrow and I don't release. She turns to look away from me and back to Peeta, where my eyes are now drawn. He's looking at me, terrified, just like when I was stung by the tracker jackers and he was telling me to run. _

_My heart starts beating faster and faster and I'm stuck in place, unable to take action, unable to save him. Johanna gives me one last wink and smirk before bringing the axe up, and coming down hard and swift._

_I close my eyes and let the tears fall as I hear Peeta give one final yell, "Katniss!" _

"Katniss! Wake up! You're dreaming." I open my eyes and Peeta's face is above me, very much alive.

"What?" I feel groggy and dazed, and I can feel the tears hot on my cheeks. It all felt so real, so intense. I glance around the room and pinch my arm once, for good measure.

"You were screaming in your sleep, having a nightmare. It's okay I get them too." He sounds concerned and understanding, but does he really understand? They say that the last couple of hours of your sleep when you dream, you dream of the things that stress you the most in your waking life. I don't want to give that thought any more ground, because the end meaning is terrifying.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you, I know it was just a dream." I say as I rub my eyes to clear the last vestiges of the dream from my vision.

"I can stay here with you, if you'd like." He looks like an abandoned puppy on the doorstep of a stranger's house, so lost and hopeful.

"No it's okay; I think I'll be alright now. Thanks anyway." I give what I hope is an assuring smile, but it comes off as a grimace. I can't let him stay after what my brain concocted in my unconscious state. I feel too guilty…I let him die.

"Okay. Well, goodnight." He turns to leave and the door shuts behind him.

The thought of my dream terrifies me. Would Johanna kill us all in order to win? Of course she would. She's a cold-hearted liar…right? The real question is would I be able to kill her and everyone else in order to save myself or Peeta? I'd like to tell myself that yes, yes I would. But I can't be entirely sure, at least when it comes to her. I _hate _that the thought even crosses my mind. I should be ready to take anyone out to survive. This isn't just about my life or Peeta's, it's about our families lives as well. I can't continue to think this way and I won't.

One thing that continues to throw me off thoguh is when we all went to be evaluated. I saw Peeta's beautiful painting of Rue, but I also saw a dummy plastered to a single wall, an axe in between its head and body. The drawing on the face of the dummy was clearly Snow, and the axe had so cleanly cut and severed the neck. I knew it was her, and the scene before me only served to turn me on. What intense anger, passion, and skill.

I don't think the question is would I kill her, it's _could_ I kill her? That question alone could be taken in a multitude of ways.

When I wake up in the morning and go to the last day of training, I'm going to completely ignore her. I need to focus on honing my survival skills.

I lay my head back down and try to once again fall asleep. This time dreamlessly and for once the odds are in my favor.

Breakfast in the morning was slightly tense. We both know this is our last day to make allies, as well as work on anything that needs tuning. Not to mention possibly our last meal altogether.

Effie is trying to be bright and encouraging as always, and Haymitch is nursing his cup and giving his best advice, albeit sarcastically in places, as usual. Peeta is scarfing down his food and trying to talk strategy and allies with Haymitch. As much as I have to worry about and stress over right now, this comforts me. In all the time that I've gotten to spend with these people they've become like a second family. I'll miss them greatly.

Today is the day that we choose our allies. I already have an idea of who all I want; it's getting them to want _me,_ that's the challenge. It shouldn't be that hard and if I can ignore Johanna then this will be a relatively good day.

We step into the training room an hour later and as per usual, we're the last to arrive. Apparently we should win an award for most tardy district. I see Mags working on rope knots and I smile and wave at her, she does the same. Okay one down for sure. I look to my left and Peeta has already made is way to the simulators.

I follow my original plan and see the two people I'm looking for working at the fire starting station, Beetee and Wiress. I approach slowly and when I see that they are once again struggling to make a fire, announce my presence. "You need to move your hands down more…and faster." I take a seat beside them and Beetee does as instructed, making the wood start to smoke.

"I love a brute force." Wiress looks to Beetee as she says this.  
>"It's always helpful. Thank you, Mrs. Everdeen." Beetee smiles at me and I take this as a good sign.<p>

"Oh you can just call me Katniss." I smile back at him and Wiress suddenly looks at the Gamemakers station above.

They start talking about forcefields and weaknesses, and I'm listening well until I turn my head and look to the corner of the room where I can feel those eyes on me. Mistake.

Johanna is by the wrestling ring, oiling herself up…naked. I'm so dumbfounded it takes me a couple of seconds to pry my eyes away from her slick, shiny body, and up to her eyes. She's looking right at me with that devilish smirk she seems to so customarily wear. The look in her eyes is almost predatory, hungry. My heart is beating hard in my chest and I can feel my breath start to pick up.

She's slowly running her hands over herself now, and my eyes follow without question. Down her neck, over her shoulders, dipping across her clavicles and dips lower over her..  
>"Katniss?" I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Beetee's questioning voice. I feel like a thief trying to rob a bank and the alarm just went off. I jerk my head in his direction and see him look to me, then in the direction I was just staring at. He gives a very small smile that I'm sure he hoped I didn't notice, but I did.<p>

"Yeah. Yes, um, sorry. I must've zoned out for a second thinking about those forcefields." Very convincing, Everdeen. "It's fine. I just wanted to tell you that we greatly appreciated your help today, and we'll talk to you later." Him and Wiress stand up and start to move to a different station. I'm still reeling a bit from the, uh…incident, but I get my bearings and decide to go talk to Mags. After all it seems that Peeta has made pretty good allies with Finnick, but nobody else. So I'm actually winning! I've technically made three.

I smile at Mags and talk to her for a bit, before asking her if she'd like me to teach her how to shoot a bow. She nods her head enthusiastically and we head to the simulator.

"Do you want to give it a try first?" She shakes her head no and kind of pushes me in the direction of the enclosure door. There's a large glass wall separating her and myself now, so she can see every move I make. It's been a week or more before I've really gotten a chance to shoot a bow but I know it's like riding a bicycle, I'll never forget.

The lights start up and the simulated enemies start coming at me from different directions. I shoot them all one by one. I'm even having to duck and roll in a couple of place and do some spins. This is a pretty good and fun workout; I don't know why I didn't do this sooner.

The simulation ends and I look to the glass wall beaming, hoping to see Mags impressed with my skill. Instead I see almost every single victor, some looking impressed and others almost afraid, and my smile immediately drops. Mags looks a little smug, as does Peeta. I chance a look at Johanna, and I'm surprised to see there's no smirk on her face. In fact she has that hungry look from earlier, but it's so much more intense now. She has her lower lip pulled between her teeth, and then she releases it as she licks her lips. The look is gone as soon as it came when she realizes I'm looking at her.

I drop my gaze and allow a small smirk of my own to possess my lips. That felt good. Everyone disperses and I go to leave too. Peeta and I are making our way back to our compartment discussing our choices of allies, when he surprises me with the fervor of his speech about Finnick.

"He's actually really cool and nice and his skill with a trident is crazy good. He taught me how to throw it and I taught him a little bit about painting. He was better than I expected! He talks about Mags a lot and I can tell that he really adores her. He likes you for becoming friends with her and not judging her on her age. I think he'll be our best ally." He's looking ahead and smiling while he speaks. If I didn't know better…

"That's good Peeta. I for sure want Mags, and I know Finnick comes with that deal so it's good that we both get along with them. I talked to Beetee and Wiress today also and I think we have them in the bag too." I can't help but to think to Johanna, and I almost wish I could say that we hit it off as allies or even friends, but then I remember my dream.

"We need to be careful though Peeta, even though we're making 'allies' with these people it's still the games. Only one can come out." I glance to him just as we're about to walk through the door. He looks forlorn and I think I feel the same as he looks.

"Yeah. Well hopefully we won't have to kill any of them." He changes his expression when we walk through the door and Haymitch and Effie are waiting for us at the dinner table, a huge, glorious meal set out for us.

"Well, well, well, the popular kids have finally made it back. We've already received a lot of requests to be y'alls allies, so who'll it be?" He has a big smile on his face and he actually looks proud. Effie does too as she claps her hands together, "I knew you both could do it! The odds are definitely in both of your favors this time around."

"Thank you Effie. We've discussed it and we know for sure that we want Finnick, Mags, Beetee, and Wiress." I say with finality as I sit down at the table and fill my plate.

"That's all? There were a few more that showed quite an interest in you." He questions me with hesitant eyes and I can't help but wonder if Johanna is one of the people, if not the only person, he's referring to.

"Yes. We didn't really talk to anybody else." I glance to Peeta and I can see him and Haymitch making eye contact and grinning at each other. What's so funny?

"Alright sweetheart, but don't be surprised in the arena if more than just your allies hesitates to kill you." He turns back to his cup and his food, grinning like a fool.

"I don't see why they would. If they do then that just lowers their chances of survival doesn't it?" I know I look more than a little confused, but I can't help it. There's still something I'm missing here.

"Don't worry about it Katniss, I think we have a pretty good chance at surviving this time." He smiles at me but what he said only served to outrage me.

"_We?_ What makes you think that _we _will both survive this time?! You know Snow is after us both and there's no way he would let the two of us walk out of that arena alive, _again." _I slam my utensils down and stand up, pushing my chair back as I do so.

"I'm going to bed. I'll see you all in the morning before prep time. Goodnight." I know that I should stay and spend more time with them, but they just don't seem to get it. Why are they all so hopeful acting like we're not going to die tomorrow? It's a complete turnaround from the first games and I'm not sure how to take it. A part of me wants to be hopeful too. Maybe there's a way we could both come out alive again, but the other part of me thinks we're being so foolish to even consider such an option.

I can't dwell on it because I don't want to go to bed angry at them. For all I know tomorrow will be the last day that I'll ever see any of them, or anybody period for that matter. I clear my mind and get ready for bed. I go to the bathroom and start stripping my clothes off to prepare to shower. When I go to remove my underwear I realize that they're very much wet, and sticky. I'm glad no one is around but I blush regardless. My mind immediately goes to the training center, watching Johanna rub herself down with the oil.

I realize abruptly that I'm only making it worse and move to discard my underwear and bra in haste. I jump in the shower and scrub away all of the dirt and sweat from the day. When I get out I dry myself off and put on my favorite pajamas, sweat pants and a tank top. I love sweatpants but it's not often that I get to wear them, with how hot it usually is in 12.

After slipping under the covers and closing my eyes, my last thought before sleep takes me is how I so desperately hope that I don't have to murder Johanna Mason.

After waking up, getting ready, and making my way to the breakfast table, I apologize to everyone for my outburst the previous night. They accept my apology and we begin discussing strategy and even revisiting a couple of funny memories. I'm satisfied with this. If these are my last moments of normal life then I'm happy it's with them.

The goodbyes are sad, filled with awkward hugs (I'm not great with physical contact), whispers of encouragement and pride, and wishes of good luck. It goes by so fast and when I'm making my way to Cinna, I feel like I didn't have enough time. I've never had enough time.

He's putting the final touches on my suit and telling me what he believes to be the terrain of the arena based off of my mandatory outfit. He gives me a hug and says "I'm still betting on you, girl on fire." Then he releases me and I can hear the countdown for game time. I step into the single elevator, and take a deep breath. Just as I'm being lifted I see the Peacekeepers come in and start beating Cinna. I scream and start to panic but there's nothing I can do, I'm already coming up to the floor of the arena.

Tears are streaming down my face as the sun hits me right in the face and my vision finally clears. I'm surrounded by water and I see that the other victors are too. We're all on platforms, and in between each one is a pathway that leads to the cornucopia. We'll have to swim. I try to take in as much of my surroundings as I can and search for Peeta. I can't see him anywhere but they're all so spread out and it's so hard to see in detail.

I look to see who's closer to me, and about three platforms down I see the person that makes my heart rate pick up even faster, but it has nothing to do with the countdown to everyone's imminent death. She looks…well, hot. She looks at me and the hard concentrated look she had on her face disappears for a moment and she gives me an encouraging smile, before turning back. I can't believe it. I don't have time to consider the look further because I have ten seconds left before taking action.

Everyone seems to be poised and ready to go for it. It's so unlike my first games where half of the people looked scared out of their minds and confused as to what to do.

5

But there are only victors here.

4

People who have been through this.

3

People who know what to expect.

2

Survival is the only option.

1

You have to do anything to make sure of it.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much again to everyone who reviewed! This one actually took me a couple of days to finish because I wanted to make sure I had everything in my head written down. I THINK I got it all. I hope you like it! Next chapter begins the chaos.<p>

**I've made a couple of changes to the first chapter. They are very small but definitely improved it. I'm just so iffy about that chapter and I keep mulling over rewriting it completely. Sigh, maybe.


End file.
